I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
