His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
