So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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