I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
