Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize