They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize