if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
