So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize