is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
