in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
