pop tarts are not kleenex
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
