Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
