i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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