And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
