I can text with my tongue
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
