Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
