Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think my fart just growled at me.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
