Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize