True but thats because hes a fetus.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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