is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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