I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
wow bdsm is so cute
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
