I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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