Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
