I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
