you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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