i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
