Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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