Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
