i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
