Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
