how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
