Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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