Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
