I smell stomach acid.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
