my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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