Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
