Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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