apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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