Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
