maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
