If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
