going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You are the jesus of drinking
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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