so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
