im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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