Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
