It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
