There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
