If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
