Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize