Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I FOUND THE LEGS
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
