So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
And the cops told us we were all naked.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
