THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
