Having a random hookup so left but love u
I haven't been this sober since birth.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
