i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
