next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
