nut hugger
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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