I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
