You really coming over, don't trick.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
pop tarts are not kleenex
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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