It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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