So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize