are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
