This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
