fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
