He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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