She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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