Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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