you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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