Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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