Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I think people are normalizing furries
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
