Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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