Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
is it fun? or sober?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize