Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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