I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
