When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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