Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
