singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The air was thick with penises
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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