I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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