i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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