She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
