Taylor Swift is so right about you.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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