Already got asked if we're dating
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
