I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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